{"product_id":"mach-jesus-hat","title":"Mach Jesus Hat","description":"\u003cp\u003eSpeed so holy the goalie started prayin'.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eStraight Talk on Price\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEvery dollar's up on that chart — no hidin', no squintin'. You're a hockey person supportin' a hockey person — that's the deal. The Hockey Tax is my supporter fee, and you know where it goes: fresh twigs, 6 AM ice, lessons so my kid keeps chasin' this same as yours. A $300 twig ain't limited and it ain't exclusive — this hat's 1 of 24 — ever. Look what you're gettin'. Don't sweat the number. And don't let me catch you flippin' it on eBay — I know it's valuable. Wear the number, don't scalp it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eWhat \"Mach Jesus\" Means\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMach Jesus is the gear past top speed — when somebody hits the jets end-to-end so fast the whole barn goes quiet like Sunday service, 'cause that ain't skatin' anymore, that's a religious experience on blades. Wheels so holy the glass rattles and the tendy starts prayin'. Minted by BJD — only 24 people on earth will ever own this hat.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eThe Engraving \u0026amp; The Sheet\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHere's the part that makes this more than a hat. The hat itself isn't numbered — your number lives in \u003cstrong\u003eThe Engraving\u003c\/strong\u003e, your own digital Certificate of Authenticity. Your name, your number — #__ of 24 — locked to you the moment your order clears and retired forever. Pull #1 of 24, #6, or #24 of 24, that proof is yours and nobody else on the planet can ever claim it. Independently timestamped and tamper-proof — no faking it, no backdating it. It hits your inbox right after checkout, cert attached.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThen you go up on \u003cstrong\u003eThe Sheet\u003c\/strong\u003e — the public ledger of all twenty-four, your first name and last initial next to your number. Who claimed which, who's still out there wearin' it. Independently anchored so it can't quietly get edited later. Who does that for a \u003cem\u003ehat\u003c\/em\u003e? Nobody. That's kind of the point.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eThis Is a Pre-Order\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMade to order — your hat gets crafted after you order and ships in about two weeks. A collector's piece, not somethin' pulled off a shelf.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eBuild \u0026amp; Fit\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWool-blend snapback in navy — structured crown, flat-bill classic, the old-school barn look. Real embroidery stitched into the panel — no prints, no peel, built to take a beatin'.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eReturns\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNo exchanges. No replacements. No cancellations.\u003c\/strong\u003e These are limited edition — I don't order extras and there's no warehouse, so I flat-out can't replace one. Not feelin' it? Gift it to a buddy, hand it to someone who'll rock it. But if you've gotta send it back, you can — we refund you, less shipping.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Big John Dangles","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45894583484476,"sku":"5527652_4469","price":59.96,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0715\/9385\/2988\/files\/125978OTTO-MACH-NV-01-FRONT.webp?v=1784308641","url":"https:\/\/bigjohndangles.com\/products\/mach-jesus-hat","provider":"Big John Dangles","version":"1.0","type":"link"}